It's Christmas! (It's also my mom's birthday. :P )
Some people have been saying that Christmas this year isn't as "Christmassy" because of the economic crises, the political instability of the world, and the threat of war.
But ... isn't that exactly what the first Christmas was like? Christ was born to a world at war, to a people under siege. His own birth, in fact, was the justification for the murder of scores of first-born babies (an event most people around the world forget in the flurry of "Christmas cheer").
And the irony that the hope of this wartorn world should be THIS little babe, born to teenage parents too poor to wrap him in cleaner clothes, born in a dark damp cave amid the noise and stench of farm animals .... And we who cower in fear today are told, THIS poor dirty child is your Savior; THIS stable, his palace; THIS food trough, his throne .... The irony of that proclamation is so incomprehensible, so contrary to reason, that the sheep-herders outside and three wandering astronomers have no choice but to believe, and to kneel in front of the crying infant, paying homage to him.
And outside the stable, far from Bethlehem, battles continue to be waged, people oblivious to the fact that a child has been born whose blood will someday flow to save us all.
Well, as you know, it's wedding season. I've attended five this year (and had to skip out on one, which was out of town). Next year, a number of good friends will also be tying the knot. Just in the past 30 days, no less than three couples I know have gotten engaged.
Through the flurry of preparations, I've heard a number of engaged friends lament about the weight of wedding expenses and the task of pleasing all parties (especially relatives--invite one, you have to invite them all) .... Just to put things into perspective: I just found out that in the U.S., a guest list of 150 people is already considered to be a big wedding. As most of my readers know, the only way you can cut down your number of lists to 150 here in the Philippines is if you elope (and even then, you shouldn't be surprised if all your second-degree aunts, third-degree uncles, and fourth-degree cousins somehow find out and show up at your wedding anyway.)
But during Saturday's girls' lunch out, Anj shared the brilliant idea that a friend has for his wedding. See, his is one of those unions that straddles several provinces, and he'll be having his wedding in the province where the girl's family is from. Since he recognizes that most of his friends won't be able to fly all the way there to attend, he and his fiancee will be holding a post-wedding Thanksgiving Mass for everyone here in Manila, with a light merienda-type reception afterwards.
I've been cleaning my room these past two days, and I found this poem among some of my old college things. I remember how much it moved me, the first time I read it, back in freshman year .... (Ah, brings back memories of the idealism of youth ....)
(By the way, the "n" in "Paranaque" below is supposed to be an "enye," but I don't remember how to type it, and I'm too lazy to look it up ... heheheh!)
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Ang Bayan Ko Ay Hindi Paraiso, Ginoong Jacobson
It is not preposterous to say that we found paradise in your country. -- a tourist
Huwag, Ginoong Jacobson
Huwag sabihing natagpuan
Ang paraiso sa aking bayan.
Sapagkat sa likod ng mga samyo ng dilag
Na nagsabit sa iyo ng mga bulaklak
May sangsang ng esterong
Sumasakal sa mga taga-Tondo,
Sapagkat sa likod ng mga aranya at alpombarng
Naghatid sa iyo sa komportableng kuwarto
May lupit ng demolisyong
Sumusuro sa mga taga-Paranaque,
Sapagkat sa likod ng mga bangkete
Na nagdulot sa iyo ng gloryang kabundatan
May apoy ng tagsalat
Na sumasalanta sa mga taga-Lupao,
Sapagkat sa likod ng himig ng rondalyang
Nagdala sa iyo sa alapaap ng tuwa
May repeke ng digmaang
Pumupuksa sa mga taga-Sipalay,
Sapagkat sa likod ng makikintab na magasing
Nagpakita sa iyo ng kahanga-hangang destinasyon
May haplit ng kakulangang sa librong
Kumakarsel sa mga bata sa paaralan,
Sapagkat sa likod ng mga musmos na korong
Nagtulak sa iyo sa masigabong palakpak
May mga siil ng dayuhang kostumer
Na sumusugat sa mga batang-Ermita,
Sapagkat sa likod ng de-numerong medikasyong
Nagpagaling sa iyong kapiranggot na lagnat
May salot ng mga karaniwang sakit
Na lumilipol sa mga anak ng aking bayan,
Sapagkat sa likod ng busilak na dalampasigan
Na nagpahid sa iyo ng kulay ng araw
May pasaning base militar
Na bumibigkos sa kalayaan ng aking bayan.
Kaya huwag, Ginoong Jacobson
Huwag tawagnig paraiso ang aking bayan
Kailanma't hindi nabubungkal
Ang ugat ng mahapding katiwalian.
I thought I had already written about it. Hindi pa pala.
I spent much of the first day of the holiday with Krn and Anj. We had a girl-lunch (i.e., a very long lunch) at Sweet Inspiration, talking about life, reminiscing, updating one another on our lives. We continued our conversation at Starbucks, and then capped the afternoon with some brief window-shopping at the nearby health and beauty store (whatever it's called). Then, Krn had to begin her long trip home, but I accompanied Anj who had time to kill until her next gimmick. We aimlessly browsed books at National Bookstore, and I ended up getting her a Christmas present there. :)
(1) cellphone technology. My younger brother finally got a GSM phone, so now we can text each other. And of course I'm thankful that M and I can keep in touch easily even while he's in Baguio for Christmas. (sob!)
(2) Christmas get-togethers. Which have all been fun. :)
(3) GW's promotion. :)
(4) the energy to clean my room. :P
(5) Emilie and Myrna who make my life so much easier.
I'm not very thankful that Flo won the Amazing Race 3 ... but I'm glad Zach did (though he deserves a bigger share of the cash prize, I think).
I attended Himig Heswita's Christmas concert yesterday. It's been a long time since a choir's singing has been so edifying, so spiritually moving for me.
What I like about Himig Heswita is that never, never does their singing cease to be a prayer. Some choirs nowadays almost appear to be performing when they sing, rather than praising God ... or sometimes it appears that they're more concerned about hitting that high note rather than offering their music to God's glory. I admit, I too have sung that way many times: sometimes, in fact, being part of the choir has caused me to focus less on the Mass, because my mind is distracted by what the next song is going to be, or by awaiting my cue.
But watching and listening to Himig Heswita yesterday felt like coming home to God's table ....
1. ...sent a handwritten letter? Well, I jut finished scribbling on a few Christmas cards ... and I occasionally write notes to people. But a real letter? I really don't remember. Maybe the letter that I wrote to M when we first got together.
2. ...baked something from scratch or made something by hand? Baked something from scratch ... probably in high school. Cooked something--probably for Jan's bridal shower. Made something by hand: Yikes, I don't know.
3. ...camped in a tent? Oh, this is easy. A few weekends ago. :)
4. ...volunteered your time to church, school, or community? Last semester, guiding a college group of kids.
5. ...helped a stranger? Uhhh ... I held the door open for a maintenance guy who was pushing a cart the other day. Does that count?
Christmas is when we celebrate the unexpected; it is the festival of surprises.
This is the night when shepherds wake to the song of angels, when the earth has a star for a satellite; when wise men go on a fool’s errand, bringing gifts to a king they have not seen in a country they do not know.
This is the night when one small donkey bears on his back the weight of the world’s desire, and an ox plays host to the Lord of heaven. This is the night when we are told to seek our King not in a palace but a stable; and although we have stood here, year after year, as our fathers before us, the wonder has not faded nor will it ever fade; the wonder of that moment when we push open the little door, and enter, and entering find in the arms of a Mother who is a virgin, a Baby who is God.
Chesterton has said it for all of us; the only way to view Christmas properly is to stand on one’s head. Was there ever a house more topsy-turvy than the House of Christmas, the Cave where Christ was born? For here, suddenly, in the very heart of earth is heaven; down is up and up is down; the angels and the stars look down on the God who made them and God looks up at the things he made. There is no room in an inn for Him who made room, and to spare, for the Milky Way; and where God is homeless, all men are at home.
We were promised a savior, but we never dreamed that God himself would come to save us. We knew that he loved us, but we never dared to think that he loved us so much as to become like us. But that is the way God gives. His gifts are never quite what we expect but always something better, something far better than we hoped for. We can only dream of things too good to be true; God has a habit of giving things too good to be false.
That is why our faith is a faith in the unexpected, a religion of surprise. Now more than ever, living in times so troubled, facing a future so uncertain, we need such faith. We need it for ourselves and we need it to give to others. We must remind the world that if Christmas comes in depth of winter, it is that there may be an Easter in the spring.
'Tis the season of Christmas parties, and there was a noisy, happy bash at my house last night arranged by alumni of my college org. Much laughter, much music (c/o three guitars, a rainmaker, a salt shaker, and many feeling-songers), much catching up on old friends' lives .... :) :) :)
In celebration of our anniversary, M and I attended an advanced screening of My Big, Fat Greek Wedding last night. Very nice movie (which brings to a grand total of three the number of chick flicks M and I have watched together--and that's if you consider Amelie a chick flick--heheh!).
This afternoon, I walked into the office after lunch to find a huge, pretty, pretty, pretty flower arrangement on my desk. My initial reaction was, "Now whose can that be?" ... but as I walked closer to my desk, I saw the familiar handwriting on the card and realized .... :) :) :) :) M had dropped them off while I was in class.
The English poet John Milton once wrote, “Those also serve who only stand and wait.” I think I would go further and say that those who wait render the highest form of service. Waiting requires more discipline, more self-control and emotional maturity, more unshakable faith in our cause, more unwavering hope in the future, more sustaining love in our hearts that all the greatest deeds of deering-do go by the name of action.
Waiting is a mystery—a natural sacrament of life—there is a meaning hidden in all the times we have to wait. It must be an important mystery because there is so much waiting in our lives.
Everyday is filled with those little moments of waiting--testing our patience and our nerves, schooling us in self-control—paciencia lang. We wait for meals to be served, for a letter to arrive, for a friend to call or show up for a date. We wait in line at cinemas and theaters, concerts and circuses. Our airline terminals, railway stations and bus depots are great temples of waiting filled with men and women who wait in joy for the arrival of a loved one—or wait in sadness to say goodbye and give the last wave of the hand. We wait for birthdays and vacations—we wait for Christmas. We wait for spring to come—or autumn—for the rains to begin or to stop.
And we wait for ourselves to grow from childhood to maturity. We wait for those inner voices that tell us when we are ready for the next step. We wait for graduation, for our first job, our first promotion. We wait for success and recognition. We wait to grow up—to reach the stage where we make our own decisions.
We cannot remove this waiting from our lives. It is a part of the tapestry of living—the fabric in which the threads are woven to tell the story of our lives.
Yet current philosophies would have us forget the need to wait. “Grab all the gusto you can get," so reads one of America's greatest beer ads. “Get it now!” Instant Pleasure--Instant Transcendence. Don’t wait for anything. Life is short—eat, drink and be merry because tomorrow you’ll die. And so they rationalize us into accepting unlicensed and irresponsible freedom—pre- marital sex and extra-marital affairs—they warn against attachments and commitment—against expecting anything of anybody, or allowing them to expect anything of us—against vows and promises, against duty and responsibility, against dropping any anchors in the currents of our life that will cause us to hold and wait.
This may be the correct prescription for pleasure, but even that is fleeting and doubtful. What was it Shakespeare said about the mad pursuit of pleasure—“ Past reason hunted, and once had, past reason hated.” Now if we wish to be real human beings, spirit as well as flesh, soul as well as heart, we have to learn to wait. For if we never learn to wait, we will never learn to love someone other than ourselves.
For most of all waiting means waiting for someone else. It is a mystery, brushing by our face everyday like a stray wind or a leaf falling from a tree. Anyone who has ever loved knows how much waiting goes into it—how much waiting is important for love to grow, to flourish through a lifetime.
Why is this? Why can we not have it right now what we so desperately want and need? Why must we wait—two years, three years—and seemingly waste so much time? You might as well ask why a tree should take so long to bear fruit—the seed to flower—carbon to change to diamond.
There is no simple answer—no more than there is to life's other demands—having to say goodbye to someone you love because either you or they have made other commitments; or because they have to grow and find the meaning of their own lives—having yourself to leave home and loved ones to find your own path—good-byes, like waiting, are also sacraments of our lives.
All we know is that growth—the budding, the flowering of love needs patient waiting. We have to give each other a time to grow. There is no way we can make someone else truly love us or we them, except through time. So we give each other that mysterious gift of waiting—of being present without asking demands and rewards. There is nothing harder to do than this. It truly tests the depth and sincerity of our love. But there is life in the gift we give.
So lovers wait for each other—until they can see things the same way—or let each other freely see things in quite different ways.
There are times when lovers hurt each other and cannot regain the balance of intimacy of the way they were. They have to wait—in silence—but still present to each other—until the pain subsides to an ache and then only a memory and the threads of the tapestry can be woven together again in a single love story.
What do we lose when we refuse to wait; when we try to find shortcuts through life—when we try to incubate love and rush blindly and foolishly into a commitment we are neither mature nor responsible enough to assume? We lose the hope of truly loving or of being loved. Think of all the great love stories of history and literature—isn’t it of their very essence that they are filled with this strange but common mystery—that waiting is part of the substance—the basic fabric against which the story of that true love is written.
How can we ever find either life or true love if we are too impatient to wait for it?
M bought a copy of The Ethics of Star Trek yesterday, and I've read a chapter. Cool stuff; it's like an ethics textbook for undergrads, that uses examples from Star Trek. I think I'm going to find it pretty useful for class. :D (Not the Star Trek examples per se, but the way that she uses the examples, and the clarity with which the author explains things like cultural relativism and the differences among ethical frameworks.) Reading the book already gave me a few ideas for my next lecture .... :)
I awoke this morning with a very intensely painful case of tendinitis in my right ankle. It's a recurring problem that I've had since I was a child studying ballet. This morning's case, though, was more excruciating than usual; I can barely walk.
Now, after a megadose of painkillers, I can hobble along a little (but barely). Sigh ....
I wonder whether this is a case of Howard showing his true colors. Hmmm, I wonder how the Australian government is going to handle their pro-Asia campaign from hereon ....
Greetings and salutations .... Belated happy birthday to Maan. Congratulations to Angie and Toni on getting published on-line. Best wishes to my dear friend Ela who just got engaged. :)
A colleague of mine was telling me about his classes' plans for their Christmas party.
It struck me that having a Christmas party for my classes is the last thing on my mind.
These past two years, I haven't been very close to my students--that is, on a friend-friend level. It's quite different from my first two years of teaching, when I had a number of students I considered to be personal "friends."
But perhaps, whether I'm conscious of it or not, it's a matter of personal preference on my part. I find it a little difficult to manage too many friendships with students.
Meanwhile ... a student's comment last month still rings in my head: "Ma'am, I'm so scared of you!!!"
Hehehe ....
But, well, I may not be chummy-chummy with many of my students this year, but I do love them a whole lot.
This is it -- Bonifacio Day, the last day of November.
I spent the morning wrapping Christmas gifts, so I'm feeling a little Christmassy. It is already Advent, after all, and the Advent spirit is a little contagious.
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It's also wedding season, and I'm going to A WEDDING A WEEK over the next three weeks. Elaine's tomorrow, Meloy's next weekend, and Ganns and Cathy's the weekend after that.
Then I'll be on Christmas holiday, and in the midst of the wonderful craziness leading up to Christmas.
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But it isn't Christmas yet; it's Advent.
A mentor of mine asked me, once, what my favorite Advent hymn was. "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel," I replied without hesitation. He smiled at that and pressed for an explanation. "Because it isn't a happy hymn," I explained. "It's a song of yearning."
And that's what Advent is about.
It's about hope, and hope isn't a happy state. Hope arises when you are in the darkness, but you choose to turn towards a light you cannot see.
(1) the forthcoming weekend,
(2) interesting class discussions,
(3) e-mail messages from relatives,
(4) getting in touch with friends,
(5) my Labs.
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Finally, Ganns' thoughts on prayer reminded me of something a spiritual adviser wants told me: "Prayer is not a project nor a program; it is a relationship."
Whew. Most of my relatives have headed back home to their respective countries of residence.
Wednesday's services were quite an experience. We went to Bauan, my grandfather's hometown in Batangas, and like many funeral services, it was a grand reunion, with my uncles and aunts excitedly saying hello to people they hadn't seen in decades.
The town had prepared a necrological service for my grandfather, and I listened as many of my grandfather's friends and neighbors talked about a side of my grandfather I had never known. My cousin--who is named after my grandfather--sang a song.
My uncle also gave a very moving speech about coming home, which I think captured the meaning of the entire event. He had not been able to understand, he said, why my grandfather wanted to be buried at home. My grandfather had spent most of his life living in other countries, and had died abroad. Most of his children had long since settled abroad as well. But then, my uncle said, two things helped him to understand his father's wish. One was reading a newspaper column about my grandfather a few days ago, which said, "True to his love for his tradition, he will be buried in his hometown in Batangas." Another was the memory that my grandmother too, who had died in Israel, had been buried here in this little town in Batangas. Those, my uncle said, were what helped him to understand the lesson that his father was probably trying to teach him and his siblings--that despite the fact that most of his children had left the Philippines, "Ang di lumingon sa pinanggalingan, hindi makararating sa pinaroroonan."
After the town-sponsored necrological service, we all processed down the street to the town Church, where we heard Mass. (The priest's homily was rather pathetic, but I won't go into that ....)
Afterwards, we got into our vehicles and headed for the cemetery. My grandfather's urn was in our van, and my uncle insisted that we take a detour and drive through the street where my grandfather used to live. "So that Papa Lolo can visit the place where he used to live," he explained to my nine-year-old nephew. So that's what we did.
Finally we arrived at the cemetery. My uncle led a prayer. There was a twenty-one gun salute, and the Philippine flag that had been draped on the stand which propped up my grandfather's urn was folded. The urn was placed in the grave, beside my grandmother's coffin, and we all put flowers inside the grave.
As the sealing of the grave began, we headed for the lunch reception in a restaurant in Batangas City. It was quite pleasant: everyone was a lot less stressed that they had been in the previous days, and the mood was sombre but warm and familial.
We headed back to Manila before three, and that was the end of my grandfather's funeral.
Jimmy Carter has spoken out against US foreign policy and has criticized the US government for not doing enough to eliminate its own chemical and biological weapons. Here is an excerpt from the AFP report, printed in today's Philippine Daily Inquirer (with versions on othernews sites) summarizing some of the points he made in his interview with Larry King:
"There is a sense that the United Sates has become too arrogant, too dominant, too self-centered, proud of our wealth, believing that we deserve to be the richest and most powerful and influential nation in the world," the 78-year-old Carter said.
US interests, too often based on oil or other resources, ignore many truly poor countries, while the United States is the stingiest contributor of foreign aid, he said. He also noted that the United States gives only one one-thousandth of its gross national product for international assistance, while the average European country gives four times as much.
"For every time an American gives a dollar, a citizen of Norway gives 17 dollars," he said.
Carter will be receiving the Nobel Peace Prize on Dec. 10.
Meanwhile, according to another AFP report, the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales has also spoken out against the impending war on Iraq, calling military action the last resort, and urging the international community to pursue alternatives to such a conflict. I wonder whether the US Catholic Bishops' Conference will soon do the same.
Angie was in a bus with a group of people who have the same surname as me on her way back to Manila from Laoag. Kamag-anak ko ba raw, she asked. Most likely, I said. As far as I know, everyone in this country with my surname is related to me, and most certainly if they are from the Ilocos Region.
I've sometimes been a bit of a disappointment to my Ilocano relatives because I don't speak the language and barely even understand it, but I do feel proud of my roots. :)
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This weekend, my mother's brothers and sisters shall start streaming into the country for the services for my grandfather....
And now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.
For once on the face of the earth
let’s not speak in any language,
let’s stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.
It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines,
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.
Fisherman in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would not look at his hurt hands.
Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas,
wars with fire,
victory with no survivors, would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.
What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
(Life is what it is about,
I want no truck with death.)
If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing, perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.
Now I’ll count up to twelve,
and you keep quiet and I will go.
The Oprah episode on Star World right now is about the plight of Native Americans. Thank goodness. It's a story that needs to be told over and over again.
Spent a relaxing weekend in Caliraya with M's family.
School starts today (and I am quite unprepared).
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Now heavier stuff.
My maternal grandfather passed away on Friday night (Manila time) in Chicago. The cremation will be (was?) held in Chicago, and then, unless plans change, my grandfather's remains will be brought here on Thursday. There will be a service on Friday, and then on Saturday, we all troop to Batangas for the funeral. As of now, it looks like most of my mother's ten surviving siblings will be flying into the country for the services.
School: The new registration procedure just completely screwed up so many things.
Family: I just got word that my grandfather is in the hospital. He's in stable condition, thank goodness, but apparently he had a heart attack and he's suffering from pneumonia.
House: I came home this afternoon to be greeted by a little party that was being celebrated in my house, that I had no knowledge of.
I'm glad Hertsgaard wrote the book. It's about time. It's an answer any non-American could've easily given.
Why does the rest of the world hate America so much? As Hertsgaard says, the rest of the world for the most part doesn't hate American culture, or American values, or individual American people. America has given the world a lot of good, and most of the world is grateful for that. What most of the world hates is the history of American government policy towards the rest of the world. What most of the world hates is the way that the American government fights for democracy for its own people, but has repeatedly refused to treat other countries democratically, to treat other countries like equals. What much of the world hates is the way that the American government pretends to be the stronghold of democratic ideals, but has often supported the most oppressive regimes in the world for their own economic or political interest. (Philippine history is a prime example.) What most of the world hates is the way that the American government has insisted, many times, on imposing its will on the rest of the world, without listening to what the rest of the world has to say. In short, the American government likes to talk a lot, but they don't know how to listen.
Speaking of younger people ... I stumbled upon an interesting website put up by younger people (with some names familiar to me :P ). I haven't looked through the entire site, but it looks promising.
I think I forgot to mention ... I celebrated my birthday last week. At my age, there is absolutely no denying that I am an adult. (A young adult, perhaps, but an adult nevertheless.) I do not feel like an adolescent, and I cannot relate to many of the references that adolescents make these days. (I am constantly reminded of this when I attempt to read blogs written by younger people--Gen Y-ers, that is.)
Read a few insightful lines about adolescence the other day:
... the heroes of most science fiction novels were perpetual adolescents, lone rangers who wandered the universe avoiding commitments. This shouldn't be surprising. The romantic hero is invariably one who is going through the adolescent phase of human life. The child phase--the one I had dealt with most ofeten in my fiction--is the time of complete dependence on others to create our identity and worldview....
Gradually, however, this dependency breaks down--and children catch the glimmers of a world that is different from the one they thought they lived in, they break away from the last vestiges of adult control themselves, much as a baby bird breaks free of the last fragments of the egg. The romantic hero is unconnected. He belongs to no community; he is wandering from place to place, doing good (as he sees it), but then moving on. This is the life of the adolescent, full of passion, intensity, magic, and infinte possibility; but lacking responsibility, rarely expecting to have to stay and bear the consequences of error. Everything is played at twice the speed and twice the volume in the adolescent--the romantic--life.
Only when loneliness becomes unbearable do adolescents root themsleves, or try to root themselves. It may or may not be community of their childhood, and it may or may not be their childhood identity and connections that they resume upon entering adulthood. And, in fact, many fail at adulthood and constantly reach backward for the freedom and passion of adolescence. But those who achieve it are the ones who create civilization.
-- Orson Scott Card, from the introduction to Speaker for the Dead (on my reading list thanks to M's influence).
"But those who achieve it or the ones who create civilization." I really like that line. :)
The Pope has recommended a set of five new mysteries to the Catholic prayer of meditation known as the Rosary. He calls this new set of mysteries, the "Mysteries of Light" or the "Luminous Mysteries" The meditations center on five events in the public life of Jesus (I got the scriptural references from the Pope's apostolic letter):
(1) First Luminous Mystery: Christ is Baptized in the Jordan (Mt 3:17 and parallels; also see 2 Cor 5:21)
(2) Second Luminous Mystery: Christ is made known at the Wedding of Cana (Jn 2:1- 12)
(3) Third Luminous Mystery: Christ proclaims the Kingdom and Calls All to Conversion (Mk 1:15, 2:3-13; Lk 7:47- 48; also see Jn 20:22-23)
(4) Fourth Luminous Mystery: The Transfiguration (Lk 9:35 and parallels)
(5) Fifth Luminous Mystery: Jesus gives us the Eucharist (Jn 13:1)
(Click here for more comprehensive Scriptural meditations, here for a cross-referenced version of the Pope's apostolic letter, here for a printer-friendly version of the letter, and here for an article on how people are reacting to the New Mysteries.)
I still have a bit of a Hong Kong hangover: I haven't even completely unpacked my things yet. Except of course for M's and my new toys, including an MP3 player and a digicam. We also bought a tent for camping, and M bought a new tennis racquet (which he's used twice already). And I bought two books, one of which I've almost finished reading already.
This past weekend, on the other hand, was the Nov. 1 - 2 holiday. I went with my aunt to the cemetery on the 2nd and spent a few hours there.
And today, back to work .... The semester begins next week, and at the end of this week I'll be busy with reg duty, so this really is the only time I have to prepare my syllabus .... Sigh ... I wish sembreak were longer ....
How's this for U.S. intelligence. Winnie Monsod was summoned to the U.S. embassy for fingerprinting, because she is on Washington's list of suspicious persons.
Ironically, she was planning a trip to the U.S. in her capacity as adviser to the U.N. (for which she goes to the U.S. twice a year).
How's that for "intelligence"?
Anyway, Monsod's theory is that the U.S. has been using lists of "suspicious characters" taken from ... (get ready for this) ... THE MARCOS ERA!
Am watching an Oprah episode about how women should become more involved in their family's financial management.
Interesting. From all the Oprah episodes I've watched, it appears to me that there's a subtle difference between the traditional gender roles within an American family and in a Filipino family.
In terms of financial management, I've always understood the Filipino wife's traditional role to be the holder of the purse. The image I've always had in my mind of Filipino family financial management is this: When a husband gets his salary, he immediately turns it over to his wife. The wife, in turn, budgets the income and gives her husband (as well as her children) their allowance. The wife is also in charge for household expenses: budgeting for and buying groceries, paying the bills, etc. In short, as far as I know, the Filipino husband has the responsibility of earning the money, the Filipino wife has the responsibility of managing it. Moreover, the wife, though she might not have a full-time job, usually also has a "sideline" to augment the family income: a small business based at home--a sari-sari store maybe, or a carinderia. (Once again, I'm talking about traditional roles; of course, not every single couple manages things this way.)
I'm not sure how spousal roles regarding financial management are traditionally viewed in other cultures such as in the U.S. Oprah probably isn't a very good gauge of an entire culture, but I find it interesting how often Oprah seems to imply that most women simply spend their husbands' money ....
I'm happy. I've been spending the past few days checking my students' last paper. After a semester of ragging my students about grammar and style, their papers have dramatically improved. I think the single most important factor was my request that they submit, along with their paper, a typewritten outline of their essay. A few of my students themselves acknowledged how much the outline helped. Apparently, some of my students had gone through their entire scholastic life without ever outlining an essay except when required for English class. "Ma'am, malaking tulong pala pag nag-outline ka; napipilitan ka mag-isip." (Duh!, I wanted to say. There's a reason why your English teachers asked you to write outlines; it wasn't simply because they wanted to make your lives more difficult, you know?)
But I am glad. I've been reading B- and even B-plus papers from students who have been averaging lower than a C since the beginning of the semester. It just goes to show how far a little bit of extra effort--a little more patience with one's self, a little more discipline--can go.
Some of my students have been feeling bad about the grades they've been getting this semester, resigning themselves to the notion that they just aren't cut out for the subject. But I hope that the results of their final papers show them that no one in my class is stupid, that all they need to do to get better grades is exert a little bit more effort, and that the effort really does pay off in the end.
I do believe that thinking is a skill, something that can be improved upon with practice. People aren't born good thinkers. They become good thinkers with practice. I hope my students realize that they too, can become better thinkers, through hard work.
(Related thought. After this semester's exams, I also want to tell many of my students: If a teacher is tough, it isn't because s/he is simply trying to be a "hard" teacher; it's because s/he believes in her students' potentials and capabilities, and knows they can perform well. That's why s/he is challenging them to do just that. As Fr. D once said: "If you push students, they will perform.")
1. How many TVs do you have in your home? Two. One in the master's bedroom, one in our helpers' bedroom. We also have two other really, really old ones that have long since died ... and can no longer be fixed.
2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week? I probably actually watch about nine or ten hours of TV a week; one hour a day on weekdays, plus an additional hour or two each weekend. But the TV is on a lot more than that. Sometimes I leave it on CNN or Discovery Channel while I'm working on the computer, and just glance periodically at what's showing. Other times, I can happily surf through the entire cable line-up for an entire hour, without really watching anything.
3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children? Depends on the show, of course!
4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you're heartbroken? I used to have an answer for that: "Star Trek: Voyager." But I've already watched the whole series, and I don't have a new must-see show.
5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like? Interesting question. No idea.
I was reading the 2BU article (will look for the link later) about the Generation Why forum. Emily Abrera and Jessica Zafra both said something about how today's youth (Generation Y) have a pop culture shaped by consumer trends.
Interesting. (In contrast: My parents' generation was shaped by politics and activism.)
But now, here's a question for people my age ... what was OUR generation shaped by when we were younger? Grunge and rock bands?
(1) the strength to survive exam week
(2) cheap airfares
(3) blogs that keep me in touch with my barkada daily (well, half my barkada anyway)
(4) cable TV
(5) bumping into so many old friends at last weekend's bonfire
(6) my relatively okay health despite the fact that I walked in the rain yesterday
(7) students who inspire me
(8) my Labs!!!
I mean, geez ... Here I am, working my butt off for this school, making this school my entire LIFE, living off a tiny salary so I can give these students some semblance of an Ateneo formation ... and what do I get?
"HINDI KA ATENISTA."
Pucha naman e.
So what IS a "true Atenean"? How IS a "true Atenean" measured?
By the level of his rabidity in supporting his school during basketball games? By the number of times he walks around a mall in an Ateneo jacket? By the amount of pride he feels wearing an Ateneo jacket?
"HINDI MO KAMI NAIINTINDIHAN KASI HINDI KA ATENISTA."
Pucha.
I sincerely thought that most people saw being an Atenean as being a man for others, as living by the First Principle and Foundation (at least in spirit, despite the fact that most people don't know the the words of the First Principle and Foundation), as living "for the greater glory of God" rather than for one's own glory, as "seeing God in all things."
But apparently some Ateneans think that being an Atenean is, first and foremost, feeling the PRIDE of having bragging rights, the PRIDE of beating DLSU at basketball, the PRIDE of wearing an Ateneo jacket .... (What does that mean, this thing about the Ateneo jacket? The pride of bearing the Arrneow name? Why? What does that name mean? What does it mean if you have the word "Ateneo" emblazoned on your back? Does that mean you're better than anybody else?)
My question is: Is this the way MOST Ateneans think? Is this the way these Ateneans WANT the rest of us to think?
You know ... if it is ... I must honestly say, I don't know what I'm doing in this school. If it is, then Mr. Proud Ateneo Jacket Wearer is right: HINDI nga ako tunay na Atenista, because I don't know if I want to be part of that.
"HINDI MO KAMI NAINTINDIHAN KASI HINDI KA TUNAY NA ATENISTA."
Pucha. And I guess he's more Atenean than I am because he graduated grade school, high school, and college from that school. Unlike me, right?, who is "just a teacher."
Pucha talaga.
I swear, I really am hurt.
I mean, okay, if this is the way people think, I should just leave. Heck, why should I butt in where I'm not welcome ...?
Update: It's the day after, and okay, I feel a bit better already. I just needed to vent last night.
Second update: Disclaimer .... As I said in my comments, drama lang yung mga rhetorical questions ko na, "Is this the way MOST Ateneans think ...?" at yung "I should just leave." Nagpapa-cute lang ako. :) Alam ko namang hindi. Heck, boyfriend ko, true blue din 'no! :P hehehe!
Just watched Hallmark's rerun of the last Neelix episode on ST:Voyager. The scene where Tuvok "dances" for Neelix is one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. Sob .... :(
I just checked sitemeter today, after a long time, and my average daily visits to the sites have shot up by more than ten since the last time! Wow! I wonder how that happened ...!
I checked my therowster mailbox today, and read a letter from an angry co-alumnus who said I wasn't a true Atenean. He had actually written the letter awhile back, but I was only able to read and reply to his letter today.
=====
The main body of his letter:
i am _____, ateneo de manila GS '93, HS '97, BS '01.....
for true-blue-blooded creatures like myself, winning the championship is everything. i was in second grade when we last won the championship back in '88... olsen racela was a rookie then, and danny fransisco was our main man. i had no idea then of what was at stake, but in retrospect, it's no different from last week. last week, the blue eagles ended their 14-year title drought. we all know what happened. my question is, why do YOU have to be so stuck up about it? can't you relax a bit and just be thankful for this victory?
for one whole year i have bragging rights na champion ang ateneo. and it sure feels DAMN GOOD to have those bragging rights. what makes me feel better is that the only losses that la salle had came from blows dealt by the bluees. IT ONLY TAKES ATENEO TO BRING LA SALLE DOWN! you don't understand how it feels whenever i wear my ateneo jacket and walk around the mall. you don't understand.
yes, the babble guy's prayer during game one was a bit off-the-scale... but it's over. we won. it's that simple. perhaps his delivery was too harsh, but i couldn't agree more with the substance of what he was saying. he was saying that it's time for a victory... IT REALLY IS TIME FOR ONE. pero hindi mo kami naiintindihan dahil...
i really didn't like what you said about the memo regarding excusing the players to prepare for finals. that was way overboard. the blue eagles will be on studio 23's breakfast on wed. they couldn't make it today kasi daw THEY HAD CLASSES. you see, the eagles are students more than they're basketball players. that is what makes them different from the green archers. classes first before TV interviews. diba ganoon naman talaga dapat? the memo was asking for just a little bit of consideration so that they could prepare for the finals. wasn't that too much to ask?
you don't know the sacrifices the team went through when they were quartered for four days. they spent these four days away from their families and friends, they had to focus on the task at hand. it was their sacrifice - a sacrifice that paid well. but then again, hindi mo kami naiintindihan dahil...
HINDI KA ATENISTA.
i don't want to start a verbal battle with you. i just want to say na kaya ganyan ang attitude mo kasi hindi ka atenista. teacher ka sa ateneo. nagtuturo ka sa ateneo PERO HINDI KA ATENISTA kaya hindi mo kami naiintindihan. kahit nag-college ka man sa ateneo o hindi, that still doesn't make you an atenean. hindi mo naiintindihan na para sa mga atenista, it's a sweet victory. it's sweeter and it sure feels better than the sum of la salle's four crowns. but then again, hindi mo kami naiintindihan.
baliktarin natin ang bola. kunyari may kaibigan kang taga-la salle. sobrang down siya kasi talo sila. tapos sabihin mo sa kanya "okay lang yan, basketball lang yan." anong sasabihin niya sayo? "hindi mo naiintindihan kasi hindi ka lasalista. hindi mo naiintindihan kasi hindi mo alam how it feels to win four then loose the fifth."
same banana.
======
This was my reply:
Hi _____.
I'm sorry that it took me so long to reply. I only checked this e-mail account today, after many weeks.
I respect your opinion and your disagreement of my opinion. However, I would like to clarify a few points which you may have misunderstood.
First, I want to clarify that I AM thankful for the victory. I am a basketball fan myself and I've attended many of the games. I attended the bonfire last Saturday just like many other Ateneans. I am also impressed with the team and grateful for the hard work that they went through for the school.
However, I am less than pleased with many acts that certain administrators have been engaging in over the past few weeks, especially in the context of what I personally believe to be our primary role, which is to be an educational institution, forming its students according to certain values and principles.
Second point of clarification. Please check the date of the letter which I wrote. I wrote it an hour after the first game, three weeks (I think) before we won the championship.
Third point of clarification. In your letter, you said that, "i really didn't like what you said about the memo regarding excusing the players to prepare for finals. that was way overboard." I just want to clarify the context of my statement. Some teachers have been pressured by certain administrators to excuse the cuts of the varsity basketball men's team. Many faculty members do not mind excusing students from class for a variety of reasons, including representing the school in different events. However, many faculty members WERE bothered by the fact that some adminstrators singled this particular event and this particular team out among all the other teams, even going to the extent of calling up some teachers personally to make such requests. Many faculty members feel that in effect, these administrators come close to institutionalizing unfair treatment among students, not to mention that they themselves are violating the guidelines laid down in the student handbook emphasizing that "there is no distinction between excused and unexcused cuts."
To put it more concretely: This semester I had a student who almost overcut. This student is a working student, and an emergency arose at the office, which caused him to be absent for more than two weeks in a row. This student, recognized, however, the rule that there is no distinction among excused and unexcused cuts, and made the necessary sacrifices at work to make sure that he would not overcut.
Now, what makes his cuts any less important than the basketball team's cuts? Is being tired from practice a better excuse for cutting than having to work to help put one's self through college?
I am not saying that the basketball team should NOT have been excused from classes. It is, after all, the teacher's prerogative if he/she wants to excuse any of his students from class. I AM saying, however, that it is quite unprofessional of the administration to pressure teachers to favor one group of students among all their other students in counting cuts.
I do love this school. I love the principles of its spiritual father, St. Ignatius. I love the formation that we strive to give our students. This is why I chose to work here rather than do something more financially-rewarding. This is also why I hope that the administrators themselves remain true to the principles of St. Ignatius that we try to witness to our students: the First Principle and Foundation, the Two Standards, the Three Degrees of Humility.
Nevertheless, I'm sorry that you feel I'm not a true Atenean. Then again, I'm not sure what you mean by "True Atenean."
Best regards,
(signed)
Update: valkyrie and ganns also have a few thoughts to share. (thanks for the support, guys!)
First, let me emphasize that I find it adorable that Ordo's kid bro (who is no longer a kid) is on Candy mag's cutest guys list. How cute. And I hope he has a happy birthday.
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That having been said ....
I'm not too happy with this trend in Philippine media, of creating, at a younger and younger age, a rich, elitist, "social" sector of society.
On the one hand, I guess it cannot be helped that there will always be a group of people in the upper-crust of society.
What bothers me, however, is that Philippine media is affirming and even celebrating the existence of such a social hierarchy.
When I was a child, society pages were, of course, already filled with stories of the country's elite--mostly members of the super-rich, landed clans--but the stories were limited to gossip about the clan patriarchs and matriarchs.
Turn to the society pages of a newspaper today. Not only do we have columnists like Maurice Arcache, filling us in on society gossip among the fifty-somethings ... the columnists, instead, are becoming younger and younger. You have Tim Yap, society columnist for the Gen Y to Gen X crowd, whose barkada gets paid hundreds of thousands to attend parties, to make those parties "cooler."
And now, Candy magazine is trying to create high society for pre-teens, littering their pages with names of "cute boys" from the top five rich, elitist schools....
It used to bother me that newspapers would waste so many pages on the concerns of a handful of people whom the rest of the country doesn't really care about. But now, teenage magazines are starting to do the same thing, targetting their features only to a gaggle of few thousand teenage girls who go to certain schools and who therefore hobnob with a particular crowd.
I know I'm not really one to talk, since I'm a graduate of those schools myself, but I can't help but feel that this kind of publicity only reinforces the false notion that many alumni of my schools have, that the world revolves around them, and that they are the most important people in the country.
I'm excited about Hong Kong. I'm going there at the end of the month to attend my niece's baptism. :)
At first, I felt a bit hinayang (English ought to develop a word for hinayang) about the trip. I used to live in Hong Kong, and I just visited the place again two years ago, and since I'm not rich enough to be a jetsetter, I was thinking to myself, "If I'm going to fly a plane anyway, I wish it could be to some place where I hadn't been before, para sulit." Not that I wasn't excited to attend my niece's baptism; of course I was happy about that too. :P It's just that I love to travel, and any chance to ride a plane for me, in my mind, should be an opportunity to do some real travelling.
But then I checked the newspapers and the Internet and found that just for a little more, I could make this trip "different" from all my previous trips. During my trip to HK two years ago, our family took a tour. It was interesting, because I had lived in HK for four years and had gone there again a few times after that, but on that tour, I saw more of the city than I had in my entire life, and I saw it in an entirely different way as well. Well I found out through research that there were quite a number of interesting tours to other places in Hong Kong; the side of Hong Kong I hadn't seen all those years living there.
So that's what I want to do this trip. And I'm doubly happy because it looks like M is most likely coming along! :)
I've been playing around with ideas for what to teach next semester. G is going to touch on globalization, because of everything that's going on in the world.
A few months ago, I had already decided on starting with Marx, and then with various critiques of and reactions to Marx, culminating, of course, with our love-love-holy-holy philosophers. But now I'm not so sure.
I'd never heard of job sharing until I saw a feature about it on the Lifestyle Channel today. It seems like a really good idea, and I wish the idea would catch on in the Philippines!
The idea is really simple: two people "share" a job by splitting work hours between them. Of course, they also split the pay and the benefits.
The feature said that in the U.S., more and more women are exploring the option to be able to better balance work with managing the home.
Click here or here for more info, and here or here for success stories. :)
I've been feeling rather out-of-sorts these past few weeks. Partly because of stress from work, partly because of the pressure brought on by the whole Ateneo-DLSU hoopla, partly because of stress from home management responsibilities. The lack of inner peace has been affecting my mood, my demeanor, and the way I've been dealing with people.
This past week or so, that turmoil has been translating into a longing for spiritual consolation. "Seek and you shall find." This morning, in my inbox, I received a message from an old friend who talked about, among other things, the daily SpEX retreat that she's currently on (a retreat that I myself have gone on several times in my life). She shared her spiritual joy about her "First Week" (Ignatius' designation of the first part of the retreat).
My heart has started singing again (or, well ... softly humming, at the very least). :)
Funny discovery. To my schoolmates: direct your browsers to www.www.brownpau.com.net. I typed it by accident while looking for brownpau's website, and was confused for a few seconds .... :P
I was really incensed yesterday because M received a rather rude e-mail from someone-whom-I-shall-not-name. Background: After M's and my controversial letters about the ADMU basketball hoopla, we received several letters--some in agreement, some in disagreement. One letter in particular, written by someone who did not agree with the opinions that we shared, led to a rather lengthy exchange of messages ....
No problem, obviously, with that. We are all free to have our opinions about various issues. The problem, however, began to arise when the person's messages became increasingly angry, and increasingly rude.
M's own letters remained very civil and cordial, and finally, after one particularly rude and angry message from the person, M decided to stop replying (as, I guess, most people would have).
All this happened a week ago. You all know what has happened since then. We won the championships, jumped up and down in celebration, had a lot of fun ....
But YESTERDAY, M received yet another message from the person. Still angry, and still rude.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I read the message. And I couldn't understand why this person was so angry! It was ironic because this person included in the message a thread of the previous exchange, and it was obvious--even from an objective perspective--that this person was unnecessarily attacking M personally (when he had been civil from the very start), and was actually bordering on irrational.
I wrote to one of my mentors' about it (as this mentor had been following our "ordeal" rather closely), and he just reminded me that some people do tend to get irrational about certain issues.
Sigh. I just think this is so sad. I'm still a little annoyed, but less so.
I've been trying to understand, since yesterday, where this person might be coming from ... but it isn't easy to understand ....
=====
Anyway, still on the basketball issue. I've been hearing various comments from people who, while they share in the joy of winning the seniors' basketball championships, feel bad about the fact that certain higher-ups in school are creating a grossly disproportionate amount of hoopla about it--disproportionate, that is, compared to the victories of other teams.
Someone I know, a member of the Blue Babble, said, "Well, I guess we just have to accept that this is basketball country."
I agree with him, but only to a certain extent. I agree that this is basketball country. And I agree that it is difficult to change people's preference for basketball over all other sports. In fact, I don't even feel the pressing need to change it. I myself love watching basketball a lot more than, say, fencing.
Likewise, I can fully understand when people watching TV, certain alumni, and even the school body feel particularly jovial about this win. Nothing wrong with that. I myself have been joining the celebrations.
But I do think there is something wrong when the administration itself formally and visibly exhibits an inordinate preference for the basketball program over other sports programs, especially this being an educational institution. Everything we do as an institution is pedagogical, even celebrating teams' victories. What message does this send our students when we who form the formal educational institution bend over backwards for one team soooo much more than any of the others? What are we teaching them through these actions? I think that these are questions that constantly, constantly need to be asked, and I feel sad that they aren't being asked enough.
Simple example. The basketball championship could have been a great opportunity to celebrate the victories of all the teams. At around this time every school year, there is a tribute in school for all the athletes. This year's basketball victory could have been the opportunity to encourage more alumni to attend this tribute ... and sure, no problem if you even have a special speech celebrating in particular the Blue Eagles' win.
That, however, is not what is happening, and not in a very tasteful fashion either. Apart from the fact that higher-ups have already sent a total of six memos within the last weekv (two today alone!) singling out the men's seniors basketball team over all the other teams, even the celebrations are further dividing the athletic teams. In a single memo, the administration announced both the celebrations for the basketball team . . . "and oh, by the way, we're also pushing through with that small thingy for the rest of the athletes."
Okay, maybe there's no ethical basis for my stand, but I do think it is quite tasteless. Even if you do look at the basketball program as a show of school spirit and nothing more than that (i.e., not a pedagogical tool, not a formation program), I think that such moves might fall into into the danger of being divisive rather than unitive.
I dunno .... I just find it rather sad.
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Something that made me even sadder is this. I talked to a few students about my thoughts over merienda, and they seemed resigned to the fact that the basketball players are stars, on a different level, a notch above the rest. They seemed resigned to the fact that basketball players get benefits--not just financial, but academic as well--that nobody else does.
"Hey," said one student, "at least we're not as bad as some other schools."
But are we not? When I was younger, I used to believe that with all my heart, but now I don't anymore.
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At any rate, I did realize one thing. Many of these students were feeling the thrill of watching a basketball game for the first time. I guess that's something I didn't really take into account before. When I was in college, I watched as many basketball games--particularly ADMU-DLSU games--as I could, and I watched them live. So maybe I'm a little more jaded because of that. I've already experienced--many times--the thrill of witnessing school spirit firsthand, while for a lot of these people, it's a completely new experience, and very awe-inspiring for them.
Well, I don't want to detract from their experience (and maybe that's why I shouldn't be talking to students about this, but rather, to my fellow-alumni and colleagues). But still, I hope that the issues don't die. I hope that people--especially those in power--seriously reflect on them and make decisions that will truly be "for the greater glory of God."
My two favorite international sports events are the SEA Games and the Asiad.
I love the SEA Games because of its small size; it's almost like watching an intramural event in school, or even a family reunion/sportsfest. The playing field is more level, and the Philippines actually has a chance in most of the competitions. Also, my years travelling South-East Asia when I was a child gave me an appreciation for this beautiful region that we belong to, and the SEA Games reinforces that.
I love the Asian Games because whenever I watch it, I always find myself in awe over the diversity of this region. As corny as I am, the Asiad's parade of nations never ceases to amaze me.
Background: I often get irritated (to put it mildly) by Western-produced shows and documentaries that understand "Asia" to mean only East Asia: China, Japan, and maybe a few South-East Asian countries plus India. (I vividly remember, on a trip to the U.S., walking into a hairdresser's salon, owned by a Korean woman. Her husband, a Caucasian, commented, "I find it interesting that you decided to have your hair done here. My wife only does Asian hair." I said, "Oh, but I'm Filipino." The man replied, "Ah, well yes, she does Filipino hair too." I'm not blaming him for his ignorance; I myself am rarely conscious of the distinctions between Slavic and Mediterranean Europeans. Nevertheless, the incident just goes to show that despite the fact that our world is getting smaller, there is still so much to learn about one another.)
The Asian Games reminds us Asians that "Asia" refers to little more than a geographical region; there is really no such thing as an "Asian culture" or an "Asian people" (regardless of how those constructs are marketed across even Asia itself). Simply on the basis of ethnicity alone: you have the Caucasians from Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, and the other states of the former Soviet Union; you have the Middle Eastern people; you have the South Asians from India and Pakistan you have the East Asians from Japan, Korea, China; you have the Malay people from the Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia.
The Asian Games also reminds us of the task we have of learning to get along as one world. If we Asians, with our incredible diversity and differences in religion and culture, ever learn to live in harmony with one another, then maybe there shall be hope for everyone else in the world as well.
In the meantime ... good luck to all our athletes in Busan! :)
Actually, my mom should answer this one. (heheheh!)
1. What size shoe do you wear?
7 or 7-1/2.
2. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Not very many. Less than ten, including sandals. And only three which I wear regularly (the others are for special occasions).
3. What type of shoe do you prefer (boots, sneakers, pumps, etc.)?
Shoes where my feet feel snuggly. The more comfortable, the better. I don't like open-toe shoes that much.
4. Describe your favorite pair of shoes. Why are they your favorite?
The ones I'm wearing right now. They look a bit like Bulldogs. They're very comfortable--as comfortable as sneakers. Yet because they're leather shoes, they still look smart.
The thing I look for most in a shoe is comfort, especially given my job, since I'm on my feet for at least three hours a day. I can't even wear my high-heeled boots for two days in a row; they pinch my feet.
5. What's the most you've spent on one pair of shoes?
Gee, I dunno. I don't think I've ever bought a pair of shoes that cost more than P2000. My most expensive pair of shoes right now is probably my pair of Avia cross-trainers. If I remember correctly, they cost less than $40.
Haven't had the chance to blog till today, but ....
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!! Wheeee!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, that was fun! :) M and I watched with FD and ME. It was funny, because all of us were in blue, and we were cheering together with the crowd on TV. (Incidentally, ME's family is split: her father and brother are Lasallians and were wearing green, watching in a separate room. Heheh!) After the game, we even stood up and sang the Alma Mater song.
Afterwards, we met up with more of M's friends, then we trooped to Ateneo for the post-game celebrations.
Wheeeee!!!!!
Of course, I also got requests from my students for a free cut today. Apparently some other teachers gave free cuts in celebration of the win. I didn't though; I explained that if I did give a free cut, we wouldn't have time for a review lecture. Besides, I reasoned to some co-teachers: Isn't it more celebratory to be in school today, talking about the game with friends, rather than to be at home?
Anyway, I'm happy ....
In the meantime, the controversy hasn't completely died down. M still got mail about his letter as late as today. In the meantime, I know at least two teachers who are in a dilemma regarding what to do about their varsity players' absences in the face of pressure from _____ to excuse them .... And a friend of mine (a student) on the arnis team, although he was happy about the win, couldn't help but sulk about the disproportionate support given to the different varsity teams. ("Eh bakit kami; lagi naman kaming nanalo a! Kami nga, hindi lang sa UAAP. Kung anu-anong competition ang pinapanalunan namin!") Sigh .... :( I hope the issues don't go up in smoke along with the fireworks ... but I'm not very optimistic about that. :(
I've made my peace with the Lasallian dude. :) Turns out he's a Xaverian. I told him I'm an ICAn and I know where to kick Xaverians where it hurts (I wrote this in jest of course). He said, I must be referring to his head, because it's the part of Xaverians most filled with hot air.
Di ba't tayo'y narito upang maging malaya
At upang palayain ang iba?
Ako'y walang hinihiling
Ika'y tila ganon din
Sadya'y biglang laya
Ang isa't isa
Ang pag-ibig natin ay
walang hanggang paalam
At habang papalayo
Papalapit pa rin ang puso
Kahit na magkahiwalay
Tayo'y magkasama
Sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo
Ang bawat simula ay
Siya ring katapusan
May patutunguhan ba ang ating pagsinta?
Sa biglang tingin
kita'y walang kinabukasan
Subalit di malupig ang pag-asa
Whew, the Lasallian replied again. His tone was less harsh this time. As a matter of fact, his reply to M was quite polite!
Anyway, M showed me this today. Cute:
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An Athlete's Prayer
It was right before the big one and the football player said
"Excuse me guys for just a sec while I go bow my head."
And in the quiet of th room
The football player prayed,
"Oh God if nothing hear me now
I know that fate is made."
"So help us Lord to win the game,
It's the big one, man, you see,
If we lose this game that's it for us,
Please do this, Lord, for me."
And as his body knelt in prayer,
He lookd up in the sky,
"And while I'm here, and have some time,
I need to ask you why?"
"They say you never help teams win,
Just do it once I pray,
We will pay you back in kinder deeds
Or in another way."
"The reason I can't help you win,"
The Lord just then replied,
"Is as you're asking me to win,
So is the other side."
"I'm everybody's father and
I must not take one side,
So games are played all on our own
Or they would all be tied."
"But that doesn't mean you shouldn't pray,"
He answered him with care,
"You can pray that players don't get hurt
And that all the calls are fair."
"And then I won't just watch the game,
I'll bless it with my care,
Because dear son you need to learn
That life's not always fair."
And while the player heard his voice,
He bowed his head in prayer,
"I pray for fairness," said the boy
"And for your tender care."
"You shall be blessed," the Lord replied,
"Your team and you the same,
And now will you excuse me boy,
I cannot miss this game."
After that last letter from the Lasallian, I realized something.
If this is the kind of shit someone can get from a community as small as the ADMU-DLSU crowd, and regarding something as small as this ... how much more difficult must it be for people within government, for example, who try to voice out their opinions?
Sigh. I told M this morning, "You know, we're simply two very idealistic people, maybe too idealistic."
I'm just soooo NOT surprised now why nothing ever happens to do this country.
Regarding that letter from the old 50s/60s alumnus. I am SOOOOO tempted to write him and say, "Geez, sir. I never knew that people weren't allowed to have an opinion. Last time I checked, we were still a democracy."
I mean, REALLY! Why the fuck are some people just so irrational? I mean, heck, if someone doesn't agree with me, fine. But argue with me using reason, for heaven's sake. Instead of quoting Homer Simpson and calling people "losers" for not thinking in the same way that they do. Instead of resorting to insults. Instead of trying to repress other people's voices and ordering them to shut up, or ordering them to think the same way that they do.
I mean, geez. For crying out loud.
What is so awful is the fact that at least one of these people is a freakin' academician herself. I would've expected more from her: some semblance of respect, at the very least, for other people's opinions, even though she may not agree with them.
I've actually gotten these several times before, but they're so funny I just have to post them here:
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Women can learn a lot if they would just study these! There would be so fewer problems! We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are their rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Rotate your tires! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. Even we too have siblings who love as much as your siblings, try to respect their love.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Hey, Ganns is right! I only realized it now! My hits have actually gone up since this whole controversy started!
Anyway, I am going to be EEEEEVVVVVIIILLLLLL and rant about the latest message in my mailbox. (Warning: What I am about to do is evil and mean and irrational of me, and you may want to stop reading at this point.)
Sent by a Lasallian:
- Hello, it is just a basketball game. Passions run high, emotions go wild. But in the end, it is just a basketball game... DLSU may win the game (alright, DLSU WILL win) but who the f*ck cares?!!!! After the dust has settled, all DLSU will get are bragging rights, and moe than half of the people will forget about this in a few weeks anyway.
- If you're so uptight about the behavior of one arrogant cheerleader, or whoever yanks your chain, then why don't you bring this up in the proper forum re: the jesuit higher-ups and if they must, punish the bastards. THEN discuss it within your community.
- And if you think that Ateneo is going to the dogs because of certain "behaviors" of some individuals during a freaking basketball
championship match, then I have 2 sords for you- REALITY CHECK! Has it occured to you that maybe, JUST MAYBE, not all Ateneo graduates are upright, good moral standing, socially responsible, blahblahblahblah individuals?! Why don't you spread your chainmails bitching about Atenean polticians bleeding this country dry? Or Atenean businessmen refusing to pay the proper taxes? Or Atenean lawyers that are more crooked than some of their clients? Sa mga diyan kayo mahiya, di sa mga batang estudyanteng mainit pa ang mga dugo...
- And if anyone of you are regretting the day you joined Ateneo, i heard there's an high-paying job for people like you in DeBeers, they stick a coal up your a$$ to make diamonds.
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As a matter of fact, I did understand the guy's point, and if he had said it any more civilly, I might actually have gone through the trouble of engaging him point for point in a more rational way, but the tone of his letter just made my blood boil. And so, what follows is my reply. For your pleasure, I have included--unitalicized, and in parenthesis and boldface--the words I was THINKING while I wrote it, but which I did not actually type
Dear _____,
Just a few quick points:(Not that your crass letter deserves a reply, but we must be compassionate especially to the less fortunate.)
(1) The letters that Mike, Jo-ed, and I wrote were not simply about the Babble captain's prayer. All three of them discussed the prayer as symptomatic of a larger problem which many Ateneans--especially those on-campus--have noticed over the last few months (or maybe longer than that). If I understood correctly, Mike's letter was about the meaning of sportsmanship, Jo-ed's was about humility and the propensity among Ateneans to think of themselves as better than graduates of other schools, and mine was about certain questionable practices that the alumni and administration have been engaged in, in the pursuit for UAAP glory.
I'm sorry if you (being the dumb-ass cretin that you are) failed to see the larger context in which the letter was written. My own letter was filled with allusions to certain memos sent by offices in the administration that, naturally, I cannot expect people off-campus (like you, butting mindlessly into something you don't know about) to understand. There have, for example, been memos sent out to the entire academic community about the senior's men's team bringing "glory" and "honor" to the school, which in the same breath, pressured faculty members to make adjustments to one varsity team among many. By making those allusions, I was hoping to alert the readers of my letter within the Ateneo community to the actions of the alumni and the administration, and read that letter in that context.
(2) This leads, then, to my second point. You do not understand the genesis of my letter (and I am not surprised). As I told Lit in my response to him, my letter was intended for a very specific crowd: my friends, some of my co-teachers, and a few administrators whom I personally knew, who were in the power to do something about the matter. In fact, the morning after I sent that letter, I immediately received a response from the Assistant Dean for Student Affairs who explained that his office had received many complaints about the prayer, and that the young man was going to be spoken with personally.
As you can see, then, my own letter was intended to alert the academic community to an in-house issue, meant to be kept within the family, and to be dealt with also within the family. (So shut up, if you can't say anything sensibly.)
However, e-mailed messages have a way of circulating to the entire metropolis. My own "mistake," probably, was forwarding my letter to two other venues: one particular young-alumni e-group called the "atenegenx e-group," and to a colleague of mine who was a little forward-happy and sent the letter to everyone in his address book. From those two sources, the letter began to be forwarded to mailboxes everywhere, to people for whom it was not originally intended.
In retrospect, however, I do not completely regret the fact that the message has reached so many mailboxes. The letters have opened the door for many related and crucial issues to be discussed. Among some of my students, for example, the controversy surrounding the letters have given many members of other varsity teams the opportunity to complain about the disproportionate financial and emotional support accorded to other athletic teams.
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I personally do not appreciate the tone of your letter, nor the reference to my a$$ (which, to my utter joy, you shall never have a piece of). Nevertheless, I hope that you now understand the context of the letters, and their genesis (if it is even possible to get anything into that thick skull of yours).
Sincerely, (signed)
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M's response to him was so niiiiiice and so civilized and so sensible (with just the right amount of sardonic wit) and I am so proud of him. I was soooooooo tempted to tell the guy to go ... jump into an aquarium of piranhas. (But then I figured he might not know what the word "piranhas" mean ....)
Sorry. Okay, I know I'm being irrational, but I just need to vent ....
Comments by YACCS.
